Oh Algebra how I hate thee

Oh Algebra how I hate thee
Why can't an English major I be?
Homework is easier with words
Math is for the birds
I'm going to need a lot more tea.


My first ever limerick. I never write poems, but that is how much I need to take a break from numbers! I studied for almost 4 hours yesterday for my Unit 1 math test, and then went to class last night, took the test, and then had a two hour lecture. I don't want to solve for "x" anymore. Who cares? Okay, perhaps my future patients. However, in the real world, I'll be able to use a calculator. Long division with fractions and decimals is for the birds. Why can't nurses write thesis statements? I'm already good at that. I suppose this is why I pursued English education for so long. I studied what came naturally, even though I knew all along I wanted to go into medicine.

This was an actual problem we had for homework yesterday: If 172 people died in your hospital last year, but only 160 died this year, by what percentage did the death rate decrease? If I tweeted, that would call for a #onlyinnursingschool.

In my last blog post I mentioned that my Anatomy teacher had a heart attack. He had a quadruple bypass and is recovering. A friend of mine, who teaches at another college in town, read my post and recommended a friend for the job. She was hired, and we start class tonight. Honestly, I'm already exhausted, and this was a comparatively easy week! I can only hope that my brain gets into student mode fast. Thanks for your support and prayers.

A Bizarre beginning

It's 6:25 on a Tuesday night, and in theory, I should be sitting in my first Anatomy and Physiology class right now. An hour ago, armed with my textbook, sufficient snacks, and lots of spare pencils, I arrived early. I was soon informed that my professor had suffered from a heart attack the night before and that he wouldn't be able to teach the course. The school is now looking for a replacement and has no idea when the class will actually begin. So, I'm now sitting on my couch. I'm saddened to hear about my professor, but can I admit I'm selfishly frustrated? I was so excited about this class, and now it might be a few weeks before we get started. I've never done well with last-minute changes, so I will chalk this up to a great character building opportunity.

I did successfully complete my first math class last night. I learned how to read and write Roman numerals. Here is the acronym to learn the larger numbers:

50 L Lovely
100 C Cats
500 D Don't
1,000 M Meow

You are welcome.

I was also forced to reach to the farthest depths of my brain to extract my 4th-grade math skills. We practiced adding, subtracting, dividing and multiplying fractions. The best thing I can say about Medical Math so far is that it's boring. The class meets Mondays and Wednesdays from 6-9pm. Yikes! Now I remember why I was an English major the first time around...But, I'm determined to plow through. I won't let the fractions beat me.

Why an LPN?

I've had a few people ask my I decided on an LPN rather than an RN. That's a long and boring story. Here is the shorter, only slightly less boring version:

1. I've done my research. A lot.

2. Yes, I know RNs make more money.

3. Yes, there is a job market for LPNs in my area.

4. Yes, I'll probably go on to earn an RN eventually.

5. I like this particular LPN program for these reasons:
- It's an on-campus program. I don't want to learn how to be a nurse via the internet.
- It's an evening program. I'm a grown-up and have to work while I go to school.
- It's a slower pace than most programs. I'm a slow learner. No, really. For reals I am.
- It's the cheapest program in my area by far.
- It's about a mile from my apartment.

6. An LPN will service my short-term future goals.
- I'm interested in geriatric nursing. Most nursing homes want LPNs.
- An LPN will get me into the field faster, and I can make a lot more money as a nurse than I could working my current temp jobs as I earn my RN.
- I want to make sure nursing is a good fit before I take it to the next level.
- At age 35, I'm eager to get started in my new career!

Now I shall entertain you with a random medical fact I learned today: The area behind your knee is your popliteal. Try to work that into a conversation tomorrow.

Here we go again

One of my earliest memories is sitting on the floor in my public library. I was in the children's section, searching for a book on medicine. I explained what I was looking for to the librarian, but she kept directing me to silly "kids books" on topics like, "our changing bodies," and "Everybody Poops." In utter frustration, I gave up searching. There wasn't a single book in the children's section about how to deliver a baby or take out an appendix. That was what I wanted to know.

I've been fascinated with medicine for as long as I can remember. I was the perfect age to become enthralled with ER in the mid-nineties, and I've probably seen the entire series (all 15 seasons), 8 times. When I was in college, I remember a time when I was studying at a Starbucks and was watching medical students at the adjacent table. They looked terrible. They were clearly exhausted, stressed out, and overwhelmed with studying. I was jealous.

So, why didn't I become a doctor? The answer to that question is complicated. The semi-simple version is that I'm not good at math and science, I didn't want to pay for med school, I have multiple significant health issues, and I never thought I would need a career. (I was going to get married at 22, you see.) Ha!

I pursued education, and have been working in various aspects of higher education and teaching over the past 12 years. I have enjoyed certain aspects of each my jobs, but ultimately, the call of medicine has never left. When I lost my job last year, I made the decision to pursue a career in the medical field. Medical school was out for the before stated reasons, but I began to research other options in my area.

I landed on an LPN program at a trade school near my apartment. It's fast, affordable, and designed for adult learners. My first class, Medical Math, starts next week on Monday and Wednesday nights, followed in quick secession by anatomy and Physiology on Tuesday and Thursday nights. I've filled out my FAFSA, my anatomy flash cards arrived in the mail today, and I have dusted off my backpack from high school (no joke). What else could I possibly need to be successful?!

I'm inviting you to join me in my adventure in nursing. I will graduate in December of 2018, but of course, that will only be the beginning of this story. I tend to wish away the painful parts of life, and I want to cherish each stage of this journey. I want to learn to appreciate the steps and not just the end. I will need you to remind me to be content while I sacrifice family time to memorize all the bones in the body. I will need a pep talk before I start my first IV. I will need your prayers most of all. The studying, hard work, and concerns about finances weigh heavily on my heart. And yet, I can't wait to start on Monday. Welcome to my adventure!